The Forbidden Sip
by Vivat Leah
Summary: Arthur is in love with Merlin but the fact that the latter is his servant makes it a little complicated to have a relationship. After a night of drunkenness Arthur forgets the limitations of their relationship and drags his servant and friend into bed, drama ensues. Arthur/Merlin, Gwaine/Merlin Explicit content, slash, dub con
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So I was reading a story recently about the relationship between a master and his soldier and I wanted to explore that relationship dynamic for myself and I thought, hmm where could I set this, and obviously Merlin came to mind. It's been a while since I've watched the show so please forgive me any inconsistencies. _

_I hope you enjoy and please be so kind as to review, I get sad when my stories don't get any reviews :(_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the amazing Merlin characters**_

**Chapter 1**

They had been riding long and hard to reach Camelot before the end of the day. They rode straight through sundown and reached the gates of the city just after midnight. Arthur was tired and in bad spirits, and all he wanted to do is collapse into a soft, clean bed. After he's had a long, hot bath, that is.

He told the knights 'good work' and to head to sleep and got a few grunts of acknowledgement. They were all exhausted and also looking forward to a sleeping surface that wasn't the hard, cold ground.

They had been on a prolonged mission for the past ten days, hunting down a monster concocted by some witch or another from a foreign land. The monstrosity which looked like and uglier and bigger version of a lion had been picking off peasants from the main road and Arthur was tasked by his father to find it and dispatch it "At once!" Of course it took a bit longer than they had anticipated.

Since they weren't expected to be gone more than a couple of days, Arthur had insisted that Merlin stay back in Camelot, he didn't really need a manservant on an overnight hunting trip. He was happy now however that the servant had stayed home and could provide him with a hot bath and a clean bed he so desired. Arthur also found that he missed the servant, missed their morning verbal sparring and missed his company, he was usually a nice respite from the loud and rowdy knights.

As Arthur strolled purposefully towards his chambers, barely having the strength left to walk straight he decided not to dwell on the fact that the idea of seeing Merlin seemed to not only match his desire for rest and comfort but even to outweigh it. He smiled involuntarily just thinking of that goofy face greeting him by the door and his dirty wet rags became a little easier to bear on the long walk to his rooms. Was it really necessary to have so many stairs in one castle?

"Arthur!" The exclamation reached his ears even before he registered the servant rushing to his side.

"Merlin, do you always have to squeak so? I kind of have a headache" He always felt the need to diminish his affection for Merlin, even though he wished sometimes to be able to be more direct.

"Do you always have to be so grumpy, sire?" Merlin's enthusiasm was undeterred. He walked back to the rooms alongside Arthur, not making an attempt to support him as he knew the prince wouldn't like to appear like he needed help and held the door open for him.

When Arthur saw the inside he felt such a wave of gratitude wash over him that he felt an irrational desire to pull Merlin towards him and kiss him till he whimpered in his arms. He chased that image away with difficulty, he was too tired and his inhibitions were giving way.

Instead he focused on the steaming bath in the middle of the room and started quickly dragging off pieces of his clothes. Usually he didn't let Merlin assist him with the bathing even though it was part of his duties. The idea of being naked in the same room as Merlin, with Merlin touching him while he was naked… Well, the reaction those thoughts invoked in him was bound to make their relationship somewhat awkward. Arthur had long since discerned that Merlin only loved him as a friend and cared for him as a brother.

But today he was too tired to tend to himself and he hoped that that meant he'd also be too tired to get a raging hard-on in the presence of his loyal _friend. _He quickly ripped off the last of his clothes and stepped into the bath. It was hot, but after his legs got used to the temperature, it felt heavenly, and he gingerly lowered himself in. He looked at Merlin "Are you going to help me or will you just stand by the door like a statue?" As if he had Merlin wash his back every time he bathed.

Merlin resisted the urge the say something and simply approached the prince. He grabbed a bar of fragrant lilac soap and dipped into the side of the bath before moving to draw wide circles on Arthur's back. Arthur let out an involuntary moan, the hot water and the sublime sensation on his back was so soothing. He realised he was wrong about the hard on practically immediately. Apparently his body was too tired for everything, but not too tired to get painfully hard at the simple idea that Merlin was bathing him. He decided to pretend like the moan never happened and just readjusted himself slightly and tried to inconspicuously place his hands in a way that would hide his groin. He may have gotten embarrassed and would have tried to say something in other circumstances, but he was too damn tired!

Instead he decided to hope that Merlin wouldn't notice his hard cock and let him continue to rub his back in a soothing motion, and then let him wash his hair and give his chest a cursive wipe with the soap. At that point he took the soap and quickly washed his own ass and genitalia, it's been a long time since they've been clean. In the meanwhile Merlin grabbed a towel from the commode and stood holding it out for him. Arthur had to think for a minute, before standing up strategically facing away from Merlin. He looked back and held out his hand for Merlin to hand him the towel. He quickly dried himself, his semi hard cock hardening again at the thought that the servant was in a perfect position to observe his perfectly round ass. Did he like what he saw? Did he even look? Arthur had a good ass, and he kind of wanted Merlin to be looking. Oh, who was he fooling? He really fucking wanted him to be looking. He pulled the towel around his waist, annoyed that his painfully hard cock couldn't seem to take a hint.

"That's it for tonight. Thanks for the bath. I'm hitting the sack now." He threw, as he got to the bed and picked up the sleeping clothes laid out for him.

Merlin bowed slightly, a slight smile of his face and went to loudly drag the wooden tub out of the room. Arthur waited till he wished him good night and was gone before untying the towel. He grabbed his dick into his right hand and groaned. He wanted to do this quickly so he could finally go to bed. He jerked off without ceremony. He imagined Merlin's cock swelling while looking at his ass; Merlin on his knees; Merlin's mouth around his cock, licking, sucking. He came with a quiet gasp. He quickly wiped himself off, threw on the sleeping pants and was asleep mere seconds after his head hit the pillow.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Ok guys I would usually consider it uncool to hold chapters hostage for reviews, but it is really freaking sad to post something and get zero feedback, so I will not be posting a new one until I get at least something. _

_It is really not that difficult to leave a word saying what you thought after reading the chapter. This one of my big problems with this site – it's a bilateral relationship, the author shares their stuff and the reader contributes by reviewing. I never leave a story I just read without leaving at least some feedback. It's longer if I liked the stuff and something short if I thought it was just ok, but I would never just not say anything. _

_I apologize if it sounds like I'm ranting – that's probably coz I am ranting. _

Chapter 2

The next day Arthur gave his knights a day off, they certainly deserved the rest. He didn't get the same luxury of course, he had to spend the whole day catching up on all the kingdom business he missed in the past week and a half. His father was very proud and devoted about 3 seconds to expressing his pride at his son's valiant defeat of the beast, before moving on to fill his head with boring and arguably completely useless information. Ever since Uther had had a close run in with death, he decided it was time to really start preparing Arthur for kinghood, it was exhausting.

Merlin was not sympathetic either; he was always making jokes and keeping him on his toes. Arthur liked that he felt comfortable enough around his master to joke around; it was almost as if there were no class boundaries between them. But sometimes he just wished he could be vulnerable every once in a while, he wished there was someone with whom he could just relax and not pretend like this whole future king thing wasn't sucking the life out of him.

* * *

The day after the debriefing, things were to go back to normal. Arthur let Merlin drag him out of bed in the morning, and dress him for the training session. He sparred with is knights. Percival entertained them all with an impression of the annoying old innkeeper. He spared till noon, then had lunch with everyone. Merlin brought over some cheese and meat from the kitchen and they all joked around. Elyan made a lewd joke and Arthur watched the way Merlin's cheeks flushed red, he felt a flush of affection for his young and innocent servant.

In the afternoon the knights kept on with the training, while Arthur was back in the castle dealing with boring crown business. As he was sitting across from one of his father's advisers listening to the most unexciting report on earth, he got distracted and observed the sun slowly dip into the horizon. As the sky darkened, Arthur thought with impatience of the time when this old bore would finish droning on so he could head to the tavern and have some drinks with his friends.

"Arthur!" His father's voice pulled him from him daze, he must have called him and he didn't notice. He apologized and the told the advisor what a great report he had delivered and the moment he walked out of the door he was more than ready to leave. His father was still talking, but Arthur could only think of draining that first pint of ale to wash out the feeling of staleness this afternoon gave him.

He was strolling into the pub not ten minutes later. The knights let out a greeting roar when he entered, they'd started drinking a bit earlier. Merlin put a pint of his favourite pale ale in front on him. "Bottoms up, your highness!" Elyan called out, and the rest of the nights started chanting "Up, up, up" in response. Merlin gave him one of his wide happy smiles. Arthur raised the glass subtly, making eye contact with Merlin and then downed the pint. As he finished everyone screamed again. The evening had begun.

About an hour and four more pints later Arthur was feeling somewhat tipsy. He had just come back from relieving himself and was leaning heavily against the wall and observing his knights absently. Percival was flirting shamelessly with the bar wench. Leon and Elyan seemed to be having a heated discussion, although it appeared as though they were angry at something together rather than angry at each other. And Gwaine, well Gwaine seemed to sitting awfully close to Merlin and Marlin was laughing in a way that made Arthur want to hit Gwaine till his teeth fell out. Gwaine's hand was on Merlin's side, and he was leaning in close to whisper something in his ear. Merlin smiled coyly, and licked his lips. And then they both laughed again; Arthur was clutching his glass so hard his knuckles were turning white. What was this clown doing flirting with _his _servant!? With his Merlin? They were definitely flirting, there was no doubt about that. They were sitting so close their thighs were touching, with Gwaine's hand around his waist and on his side, and Merlin was definitely enjoying the attention. Was there something between them? How had Arthur not noticed before? They seemed friendly, but Gwaine was definitely into women, he was always going on about his conquests, wasn't he?

Arthur couldn't bear to look at them cuddled up like a couple of love birds any more, he needed to do something. His judgement was a bit clouded, granted, but he had to do something!

He strolled onto them purposefully, albeit a little unsteadily, and the both jumped when he walked into their table with a bang.

"Arthur, are you ok, buddy?" Gwaine asked with an easy smile playing on his face. They only slightly leaned away from each other. Arthur could have ripped the smug bastards face off. That would probably been excessive, but so satisfying.

"Merlin, we got to go home!" He exclaimed slurring his words only a little, and Merlin jumped up immediately and took his side so he wouldn't topple over.

"See you later, Gwaine!" He exclaimed easily as he started leading Arthur away.

"Be careful not to drop princess Arthuria!" He laughed; Merlin smiled back and Gwaine winked at him just before Merlin turned Arthur around and started moving them towards the door through the field of drunken patrons.

* * *

It took them a while to reach the door of Arthur's chambers. They didn't say a word to each other. Arthur was reeling, he really wanted to confront Merlin about openly _flirting _with his knight but at the same time, he didn't feel like he had a right. In other circumstances he would have tried to make a joke out of it to attempt to find out if there was anything going on between them but he knew that if he tried it would come out angry, because he was angry, damn it!

As they got to the room Merlin pushed him through the door and dropped him on the bed, and squatted in front of him to remove his boots.

"There you go, Arthur, have some sleep now, you'll feel better in the morning" He said as he threw the boots aside and put his hand on Arthur's chest to push him into the bed.

But suddenly Arthur grabbed his head and pulled him towards himself and crushed their mouths together. There was fleeting thought that this was maybe a bad idea, but Arthur pushed that away, and instead deepened the kiss his tongue seeking access to Merlin's mouth. After a second of hesitation Merlin relented and let him in. Arthur kissed him hard and long, and it was not enough. He felt so turned on, his dick was turning hard.

Briskly he pulled Merlin atop of himself and then rolled them over so he would be on top.

"Merlin" he moaned as soon as their mouths separated. Merlin put his hands on his shoulders and just stared at him a little shocked. Arthur looked at him for a second and then dived in to kiss him again. He started rubbing his thighs against Merlin's trying to get some friction for his aching erection. He separated for a minute to pull Merlin's tunic off. Merlin helped him take his one off in turn. Arthur started kissing his way down his chest, hungry for his servant's body. He got to the nipple and sucked on it with ardour. He heard Merlin's breath catch and he gasped. Arthur moved to the other nipple and licked it and sucked. His hand dropped to rub Merlin's crotch. He could feel that the servant was already semi hard under the material.

He continued his way down his body and left sloppy kissed on his chest and stomach. When he reached the dark trail of hair running away into the rim of the pants he quickly pulled Merlin's trousers off, he pulled them all the way and discarded them at the side of the bed. Merlin was breathing heavily and didn't seem to know where to put his hands, he caressed Arthur's hair lightly as Arthur got back to him, and licked and kissed his thigh right next to his hard cock. Arthur didn't have the patience for any more foreplay and he just popped Merlin's dick into his mouth. Merlin let out a moan. Arthur started licking along the shaft and suckling on the head, the salty taste of pre-come filling his taste buds. Merlin's hands were gingerly holding his hair. He started to involuntarily move his hips to match Arthur's mouth moving around his cock.

Suddenly, Arthur pulled off and turned Merlin around with his strong hands, when Merlin was lying on his stomach, he guided him forward a little so that his ass would be sticking up in the air, he also spread his knees. Arthur took a second to rub his cock through the fabric, the need was driving him insane. He then leaned over and spit over Merlin's hole, he also sucked on his middle finger briefly before starting to push it into Merlin's ass. Merlin tensed but Arthur kept pushing until half of his finger was in, it was so tight. He gave Merlin a second to adjust before moving his finder out a little, spitting again and staring to push his index finger in along with the middle one. Merlin was trying to keep his breathing steady and Arthur worked the two fingers in, moving them in and out for a little while.

Finally, he could wait no longer. He released his cock from the constraints of his pants and lubing it lightly with some more spit started pushing into Merlin's ass. Merlin clenched his teeth, but the thought better of it and just breathed in trying to relax. Arthur had been waiting for this moment for so long, but now that he was here, he couldn't wait any longer, he started to push in and out roughly, his dick begging for the blessed friction. The tight, hot passage around his cock felt amazing and he couldn't last long. He changed his angle a little and pushed against Merlin's prostate; the servant whimpered underneath him at the feeling. Arthur continued to thrust into him hitting that spot every time, loving the way Merlin sounded as his dick touched that magic spot deep inside him.

Before long he couldn't go on any more, suddenly Merlin tensed all around him and came with a grunt, his seed spilling all over Arthur's clean sheets. Arthur came straight after and collapsed atop his lover, spent but happy. After a minute, he rolled off, so as to not suffocate Merlin.

Then suddenly, a second later, Merlin was sitting up and getting ready to go. Arthur looked at him confused.

He stood up clumsily and stood in front of the bed covering his dick awkwardly with his hands.

"Do you need anything else?" He asked quietly. Arthur felt as if someone just dropped him into a tank of freezing cold water. _Do you need anything else? _Like to do you need a glass of water, or a pair of sleep pants, or maybe you'd like a warm place to put your dick?

What had he done?

Did Merlin only sleep with him because he thought he had to?

Merlin was still standing by the bed, looking small. Arthur was in complete shock. He shook his head and kept shaking as his thoughts raced back over the events of the past hour. He barely registered the door click as it closed.

Had he just forced the love of his life to have sex with him?


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N Sorry for the delay in posting. I was very busy with exams, but I'll try to do better for rest of the chapters. _

Chapter 3

Arthur had that incredibly unpleasant sinking sensation in his stomach. Like something terrible had just happened and he just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. He had been over that night a million times in his head, and with each time he felt like someone dropped a tonne of lead onto his shoulders. He was jealous and drunk and he dragged Merlin, who obviously didn't want him that way, into bed and made him fuck him. And sure he didn't resist. But it was fucking Merlin; he probably thought that he had to give Arthur anything he needed. He probably thought that Arthur was just looking for a quick fuck like he nearly always did after a night of drinking and that with a shortage of other options he just settled for the closest available ass. He probably thought it was his duty to let Arthur touch him, because that was what the prince needed at the time.

Arthur felt sick. He couldn't believe that after months, years of desiring and loving his servant, his friend, he did this to him. He was jealous and he just took him. And Merlin let him! As if he didn't believe he was worth anything more than one of the whores Arthur dragged into his bed every once in a while. That was the kind of person Merlin was, he couldn't see how amazing he was. He couldn't see how much Arthur loved him. And how could he, when the only affection Arthur had shown him was dragging him into his bed and coercing him into sex.

This was so, so bad.

Merlin showed up the next morning like everything was normal. He was more quiet than usual, no quips or jokes, he just went about the business of setting up Arthur's breakfast. Changing his sheets and preparing his clothes. Arthur couldn't bring himself to say anything, the guilt was eating him alive. Those words kept ringing in his head "_do you need anything else?_", like an endless reminder of the terrible person that he was. Merlin did everything for him and he foolishly thought that they were equal. Did he really expect that Merlin would tell him 'no'? Did he truly believe Merlin would say 'no' to anything he asked of him? He couldn't possibly have been that foolish, but he was. And it was his duty as a master and a prince to make sure he didn't abuse the blind trust of his servant. But he did.

He couldn't bring himself to eat a single bite. Thoughts kept racing in his mind like the guilt and the shame and the pain. Merlin probably liked Gwaine, the way they were talking they could have been in love. And Arthur felt threatened because he loved him and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else touching him. He was marking his territory – that's what he was doing last night. In the most basic way possible, he was fucking Merlin to mark him as his own, to prove that he could possess him and Gwaine couldn't.

"Arthur" Arthur was startled out of his thoughts by Merlin calling his name. "Do you want me to polish your second set of armour for you. For the tournament?" Arthur just stared at him for a second, not comprehending. How could he talk about armour like Arthur's whole world wasn't crumbling at his feet?

"Merlin, can you sit for a second, please". Arthur's voice sounded small. He spent so much time in the past few months imaging that moment when they would finally be together, when Arthur would hold him and make love to him, and it would be like an union made in heaven, their bodies coming together and Arthur whispering "I love you" quietly and sensually and Merlin responding in kind. He imagined other things as well, them laughing bed together, sneaking around and being together, just being together. But instead all he got was a drunken tumble in bed and Arthur would have given his right hand to make that night disappear and he would even put up with Merlin being with Gwaine and it would kill him, but at least he would still have their friendship.

Merlin had been sitting for a while now while Arthur took the time to think through all this for the hundredth time.

"I want to apologize"

"You don't need to apologize, Arthur. It's fine" _It's fine_. Arthur wanted to start banging his head against a wall until he bled out and died._ Do you need anything else? It's fine, you can do whatever you want to me, coz you're the fucking prince. _

"No Merlin, it was inappropriate. I should have never crossed that line" Arthur felt he also needed to apologize, to get on his knees and beg for Merlin for forgive him. But he was too proud, even though the guilt was eating him alive, he couldn't bring himself to admit it just yet. That would make it all too real to bear. Even though it was already too real to bear.

Merlin just nodded in response. He looked like he was fighting to keep from crying.

"Merlin," he hesitated because it hurt to think of what he was about to say next "Your body is your own and are free to do with it as you please. You should date whoever you want." He thought back to Merlin and Gwaine sitting next to each other, their thighs touching. That thought hurt so much that it threatened to eat him whole but the shame of what he did after, in his jealousy, hurt even more.

Merlin nodded again. He really looked like he was about to burst into tears, he swallowed a big lump in his throat.

"Merlin, I'm really sorry" Arthur said, his voice breaking.

"It's fine" Merlin repeated again and then briskly stood up so Arthur wouldn't see his face.

"I'm going to go and get started on that second set of armour" he called from behind and the prince could hear tears in his voice. A second later the door closed with a bang; Arthur flinched.

He stood up and flung everything off the table in one swift swipe. The food and dishes clattered on the floor. Arthur sunk to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest letting a raw sob escape his throat. Then, he just let it all go and cried.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Arthur didn't want him. He was right, he had been right all along.

Merlin was running now, his eyes were blurry and he might get in trouble later for running off. But he couldn't really pretend to be normal and go about his business today, he just couldn't. He thought he could manage to hold it together this morning but seeing Arthur was practically enough to make him start bawling like a baby and when he started apologizing, it was all Merlin could do not to turn into a hot mess.

He raced past the hazy buildings and practically leaped over the porch into his room. He bolted the door and slid down onto the floor pulling his knees to his chest and just heaving. He felt so hurt he wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Arthur was like a god to him, he was a beacon of light. He was an amazing man, and amazing friend, he…

Merlin loved him with all his heart but he never dared hope Arthur would want anything to do with him.

And then this, Arthur was so drunk, he should have never let him. But could see that Arthur was drunk and horny and how could he refuse him? When he kissed his the first time Merlin was in shock, this had only ever happened in his dreams. He knew logically that Arthur was only looking to get laid, that if anyone else had been in the room with him it would have been the same, but Merlin couldn't help but hope.

It wasn't at all like he imagined. It wasn't like he had hoped. Not sweet and prolonged and loving. It was quick tumble, and _anyone else _would have done in his stead. That hurt him the most – it was undeniable proof that Arthur didn't really care. If he heard returned Merlin's feelings in the least he would have never done it this way. Merlin felt so dirty, so disgusted with himself. He wanted to tear off his clothes and jump into a scalding hot bath and rub the dirt off himself till his skin hurt.

He was no better than any bar wench, he never though much of himself, but couldn't help hoping. Hope, the enemy of joy, he couldn't help hoping that maybe, just maybe by some miracle Arthur cared about him, maybe not in the same way, but at least as friends. He though they were friends. Obviously not – he's just a servant and should have remembered. Then, Arthur fucking him would never have hurt that much. And today would have just been another day, offering his ass would have just been another service he did for his master.

The fact that Arthur felt guilty only made it worse, he realised that he shouldn't have touched someone so completely in his power; that was the kind of man he was. He felt guilty for using him in a way that he was willing to be used.

And it was all his own damn fault anyway if he had the strength to say no, he knew that Arthur would have never persisted, but he wanted to see how it would turn out. He wanted it to be magical. He was such an idiot, he felt so mad at himself!

He slowly calmed down as his thoughts coursed through his brain, tears were no longer coming and he was just dry heaving now. He was no longer sad, but angry at his own actions. He needed some comfort. He needed someone to hold him and tell him he was ok, and make him feel like he was worth something. And he knew just the person.

* * *

Merlin did bathe. Not quite as dramatic as he had imagined but he went to the barrack baths and scrubbed himself clean. Then he composed himself more or less. He knew there was no point obsessing over it, what was done was done. He had always known Arthur didn't really care about him, like that, anyway. He was just fooling himself hoping otherwise, he pushed that to the back of his thoughts. What was done was done. He just needed a little comfort a little love, and then he could get back to work, and he would manage to keep it together.

He watched Gwaine train for a while. The short knight was beautiful in his own way. His longish black hair waved in the wind and he looked kind of hot when he was all concentrated. His well-defined muscles playing under his tunic during the sparring match. He was Merlin's best friend and they had started fucking a while back. They decided to keep it light. Gwaine wasn't the kind of man to commit to a full time relationship and Merlin liked that he got to keep his best friend and he liked that he also got to enjoy the use of his body.

Once Gwaine finished his match (he lost), Merlin held out a water skin to him and he drunk it hungrily.

"Are you ok?" He asked as he pulled the skin from his mouth and his breathing went back to normal.

"Not really, can you sneak off for a while" Merlin answered honestly. There was no reason hiding anything from Gwaine, he saw right through him. And he didn't want to anyway.

"Sure" Gwaine answered seriously. He told the guys he was going off, and they barely registered his leaving in the midst of their sparring matches.

While they walked back to Gawine's quarters he resisted asking any questions, and Merlin wasn't volunteering anything, but he looked kind of depressed.

The moment they were inside Gwaine bolted the door and turned to his friend.

"So, c'mon what is going on?"

Merlin went to sit on the bed, and Gwaine went to wash his face. He threw off the sweat soaked tunic and also rinsed his chest with a small cloth.

"I don't really want to talk about it" Gwaine looked back at him and raised his eyebrows as if asking 'then why are you here'?

"I just need a little moral support" he said pulling off his own tunic and stepping up behind Gwaine.

He took the soaped up cloth and washed Gwaine's back. Then he untied his shorts and pulled them down along with his pants

He also quickly washed between his cheeks and gave his cock a quick rinse before dropping the cloth to the floor and grabbing it into his hand. Gwaine gasped. Merlin jerked him off a couple of times before he turned around and put his hand under Merlin's chin and kissed him lightly.

"Tell me what you want" he said once their lips separated.

"I want you to make love to me and act like you mean it." Merlin answered a little breathless. That was all Gwaine needed to hear. He kissed Merlin again, his lips soft but firm. His hands roamed his chest slowly until he reached the top of Merlin's pants. He slowly untied them still kissing him and dropped them to the ground. Merlin's body was slim and trim, not a drop of fat anywhere, whereas Gwaine while lean was also filed with muscle. He let his hands roam all over Merlin's body while their quickly hardening dicks were just barely touching. Gwaine started slowly leading Merlin backwards onto the bed. He laid him down gingerly and hovered over him kissing him again.

"Gwaine" Merlin said breathlessly. "I want to suck you"

Gwaine leaned back on his knees and Merlin re-positioned himself so that he would be on all fours in front of him. Sucking dick was Merlin's favourite sex act. He always felt like it was the most intimate of homosexual sex acts, even more intimate than having someone's cock in his ass.

He slowly liked along the shaft, bottom to tip. Gwaine groaned and placed his hands into Merlin's hair. Merlin licked it a few more times like a lollipop and then took the head into his mouth. He knew that this would drive Gwaine insane. He started slowly lowering his o-shaped lips down, scouting ahead with his tongue; Gwaine was panting heavily above him. After a minute of slow and excruciating progress he finally had Gwaine's whole dick in his mouth. Gwained moaned heavily. He moved his hands back to the bed so that he could give himself leverage to lean back and thrust up slightly into Merlin's mouth.

Merlin sucked all over and there was nothing he loved more than the feeling of a dick in his mouth. It turned him on to no ends to be able to make Gwaine whimper and moan like that. He was so incredibly hard, there had been previous occasions when he came from just sucking cock, without any stimulation. He first discovered this with his first boyfriend, Will, and considered it sort of super power ever since. He getting a bit carried away in his enjoyment of process and Gwaine had to pull him off with a grunt.

"How am I going make sweet love to you if I spill all of my goods into your sweet little mouth?" Gwaine exclaimed, Merlin smiled up at him. Gwaine lead him back to lie on his back. Merlin's dick was incredibly hard and leaking. Gwaine grabbed it into his hand and jerked it a few times and smearing the pre-come all over the tip with his thumb he then popped him thumb into his mouth and licked the remnant of the viscous liquid off. Merlin licked his lips watching him.

From there Gwaine quickly prepared him with his fingers, he was using some oil he had on his nightstand for just these occasions. Merlin was still a little sore from the rough sex the night before but he kind of liked the mixture of pleasure and pain Gwaine's ministration produced. When Merlin started squirming impatiently and begging Gwaine for his dick, he finally relented and pulling his three fingers out started slowly entering Merlin. He leaned in to kiss him one more time and then pulled his feet so that they would be resting on his shoulders and started slowly moving in and out of him.

Merlin grabbed him own dick in his hand and started stroking himself in time with Gwaine's thrusts. Before long he was coming, his seed spilling all over his chest. Gwaine came a second later letting his come fill Marlin's ass. Then he pulled out and let Merlin's legs drop to the bed. He then slowly licked his way up his torso collecting all the drops of come along the way. When he finally had it all licked off, he leaned over Merlin and kissed him again. Merlin let their tongues slowly dance with each other for a minute before releasing Gwaine to lie down beside him.

He lay on his side facing Merlin and slowly caressed the side of Merlin's face.

"Now, can you tell me what happened?" Merlin turned to his side to face his friend and lover and moved his hand to rest on Gwaine's side.

"It's Arthur" Gwaine already knew that Merlin has feelings for the future king. Gwaine knew everything

"What happened?" Gwaine asked seriously, his hand coming to rest on Merlin's side in turn.

Merlin told him and when he was done spilling out all of his insecurities and hurts he felt much better, he finally felt like himself again.

Gwaine looked at him for a second and then said "Merlin, you're an idiot" He smiled to show that he meant it in a friendly way. "If you can't see how amazing you are, you're the biggest idiot on the planet. And if Arthur can't see how amazing you are, he's an even bigger idiot."

Merlin smiled at him and burrowed his head into Gwaine's chest, letting his friend hold him.

"I also think you're a bit of a masochist" Gwaine whispered in a conspiratory voice. "I mean why else would you let Arthur fuck you when you knew he was too drunk to appreciate your _amazing_ body" He continued with lewd undertones. Merlin jabbed him in the ribs and Gwaine jumped.

"Hey, no appreciation for all self-confidence I'm endowing you with, you ungrateful little…" He didn't get to finish because suddenly Merlin was on top of him, kissing him.

"I do appreciate it Gwainy, why do you think I let you let you enjoy my _amazing _body?" They both laughed and then Merlin fucked him quickly and roughly, and when Merlin fell asleep in his friend's arms he still felt a little worried about the situation with Arthur, but he knew in the bottom of his heart that everything would be ok.

_A/N Please review. Let me know what you think about this chapter, I wanted Merlin's reaction to work in organically with the story from Arthur's perspective and I'd like to know if it worked. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A week of hell. That was what the last week had felt like to Arthur, a week of hell. He walked around with a sinking sensation and felt anxious any time he laid eyes on his servant. Merlin however, seemed perfectly fine. After that first day when he ran off and Arthur feared the worst, he came back the next day acting perfectly fine. He acted as usual and even joked around. Arthur knew he should be happy that his stupidity didn't ruin their friendship but if he was being honest about it, he hated that Merlin just got over it so quickly. He felt guilty about thinking this and reprimanded himself, but it really hurt that to Merlin it was just business as usual. For him, it was not.

When he wasn't obsessing about having ruined his chances with Merlin he was reliving the events of that night. He would be trying really hard to think about anything else and before he realised how it happened he was sporting a huge hard-on thinking about Merlin's ass around his dick, or the feel of Merlin's cock in his mouth, or the taste of his soft lips.

Despite the anxiety somehow he always woke up with a hard-on wishing Merlin was there to help him take care of it. Of course more often than not the moment that thought crossed his mind, Merlin would show up to help him with anything he needed, except obviously he wouldn't never ask him to do anything sexual after than damned night.

It was like being torn into pieces. On one hand, he really wanted to relive that night again and again and again, and for it to never stop. And on the other hand, his guilt over having had the enjoyment of experiencing it once was already eating him alive.

Arthur was feeling rather sick of all this emotional crap and as he fastened his belt, getting ready to go out and meet the knights, he resolved to enjoy himself tonight. It was Leon's birthday and they decided to throw a min-feast at the barracks, after hours. It was an exclusive party, only for knight and invitees. They had learned their lesson after Gwaine's birthday the previous year where the clean-up of the grounds took half a week and Uther was beside himself screaming at Arthur.

When Arthur got there, everyone else had already arrived. All the members of the round table, a couple of women he never saw before, a couple he knew from previous occasions, Gwen and of course Merlin. Arthur took a deep breath, braced himself and then put on a huge smile and went to pat Leon on the back to congratulate him.

All in all, it was going better than Arthur expected. The knights were joking around, Leon was sloppily making out with one of the new women. Arthur was having a nice enough conversation with Gwen, who was just about to head away as things were becoming a tad messy. Arthur said good-bye to her and walked her in the direction of her house, she insisted he turn back half-way there and go back to the party. When he returned he went to join the little cluster with Elyan, Gwaine (whom Arthur positively disliked lately) and Percival.

"So, Arthur did you have a good time with Elyan's little sister?" Said Percival, with the clear intent of riling Elyan, but the latter didn't take the bait.

"At least my sister has the gorgeous looks to interest a prince"

"Ha, she must be the neighbour's daughter coz she sure as hell doesn't have your ugly ass face"

"Hm, your mom seems to like it" retorted Elyan. Percival gave him an unimpressed look, and Elyan responded it with a smug smile.

"I hope you guys realise how hopelessly unfunny you both are, like Percival's mom would ever go for _you_" Said Gwaine, smirking.

"Like you would ever go for his mum," Elyan answered.

"That with my mum missing those beautiful brown eyes"

"And that positively tasty trim waist"

"I also doubt she has any of those blue tunics you seem to love soo much" Percival said licking his lips and Gwaine threw a bone at him. Elyan and Percival started laughing and Gwaine along with them, and Arthur suddenly felt like punching all of them in the face. So they all knew about Merlin and Gwaine and it wasn't a new thing.

Arthur was just contemplating having to put on a big smile not to seem too out of place when he saw Merlin walking leisurely away from the party. Suddenly, despite everything, he had a longing to go join him on his walk and pretend for just a minute that Merlin wasn't his servant, that he wasn't the prince and that they hadn't slept together a week ago and ruined their amazing brother-like relationship dynamic.

Before he even realised what was going on, he was already rushing to Merlin's side. They wouldn't even have to talk, just walking would be fine. Arthur firmly shot down a small nagging voice at the back of his head that was claiming this wasn't a good idea, that Merlin was clearly with Gwaine and that he swore he would never again try to make a move. He was like an alcoholic sitting in front of a pint of freshly drawn pale ale, he knew that taking a sip may ruin his life again but he couldn't do anything to stop his hand from grabbing that cold pint.

"Merlin, wait up" he called just as his mind was telling him it's not too late to turn back.

"Arthur" Merlin exclaimed a little surprised, "You're heading home so soon?"

"Well I was going to ask you the same thing" He wasn't actually, he just wanted to walk with him. He was a little tipsy, but that didn't matter, he just wanted to walk.

"I'm all partied out, early morning tomorrow"

"Ah, yes of course, all those boots that need shining" what the hell was he on about? _This is so uncool, Arthur, get your shit together! _

"Do you mind if I walk with you, wouldn't want some hooligans to jump you on the way" He was going to say 'and rape you' but then he hesitated, he still wasn't sure if what he had done qualified as consensual sex. It probably did. Probably.

"How very chivalrous of you" Merlin seemed a little confused by Arthur's attention, but perhaps he was still feeling guilty, and this is just his way of trying to apologize. Arthur had been acting a little weird the last week; Merlin could tell he was still feeling guilty. That night was on Merlin's mind a lot too he was just much better at hiding it. Keeping secrets was kind of his thing.

They walked on in silence. Arthur wanted to come up with something witty to say or just something to say at all, but he couldn't think of anything suitable. The night was so nice; the air was fresh and warm. The night sky was a beautiful, rich dark blue and the stars seemed to be shinning more brightly than ever before, or perhaps Arthur just never noticed them.

The night was perfect really, except that the walk was coming to an end, and Arthur wanted to drag his heels into the ground just to prevent this moment from ever ending. They reached Gaius' home and Merlin turned to face Arthur again.

"I think I got it from here, sire. Thanks for walking me" He said with a smile and after a moment he seemed like he was ready to turn away towards the door.

"Merlin" Arthur called with a little desperate note in his voice, Merlin turned his head back to face Arthur and the latter, completely ignoring the warning voice shouting out in his head, arched up and kissed Merlin. It was soft and lingered for only a second, before Arthur pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I just really needed to do that" Arthur said defeated. That was it, he took that sip of the forbidden ale, it could mean the end of this friendship, but just for a moment, the feel of those soft lips was enough to merit a lifetime of misery.

"Arthur, I…" Merlin didn't even know what he was going to say, he was so confused he couldn't comprehend what was going on.

"I know you're with Gwaine, and I understand that you don't think of me that way" Arthur took a long deep breath, paying for God to give him strength to finish talking. "And I am so, so, so very sorry for the other night. I.. There is no excuse, I am your prince and you're my servant and I abused my position in a way that is so wrong that it breaks my heart"

"Arthur, it's…"

"Please, let me finish. It's not ok, Merlin. I understand why you felt you couldn't say no, Merlin. Even though sometimes I blame you for not speaking up I understand how someone as devoted, and as loyal and as amazing as you wouldn't think to refuse, even if… even if you didn't want me to do that to you…"

"Arthur, please…" Merlin's heart was breaking for the heartbreak Arthur was evidently feeling, he just wanted to tell him that he didn't not say no because of some sense of obligation, it was because he wanted Arthur to do that to him, and maybe not in that way, but at that moment, he would take what he could get.

"Merlin I love you, I have always loved you. Since the day I first laid eyes on your goofy face, I think. Or maybe it was after I saw that beautiful smile. I never wanted to hurt you, or use you like a common whore. Never. I would never do that." _You did _"I just, I had wanted you for so long that, that night, I don't think it even felt real that it was finally, actually happening." Arthur lowered his face, his voice starting to tremble at the last few words. He didn't know how he could go on living now that he had finally bared his soul, knowing he could never be loved the way he yearned to be loved.

Suddenly though he found himself thrown against the wall, before his confusion cleared there were lips crashing against his and a tongue seeking entry into his mouth. Merlin's whole body was moulded into his and he closed his eyes and all he could feel was Merlin all around him. This night _was _perfect.

"Arthur, I love you" Merlin said as soon as their mouths detached from each other.

"I love you so much" He said again and laughed a little, burrowing his head into Arthur's collar bone. Arthur instinctively put his arms around him and drew him close. Merlin raised his head to rest on his shoulder and brought his own hands around Arthur's waist to complete the embrace.

"I didn't say 'no' that night, because I had been dreaming of the night you would make love to me for years. And I was upset after we were done because I was convinced you had only fucked me because you were drunk and that I didn't even matter to you enough that you would care about that possibly ruining our friendship. I'm so insecure sometimes, Arthur. I could never imagine a man like you could love me" He whispered all of this in Arthur's ear without releasing his hold on him.

"Oh Merlin…." Arthur wasn't even sure what else he could say to this. They had both been such epic fools.

Well, maybe there was one thing he could say.

"I love you"

_A/N OK, guys, I hope you enjoyed that. I plan to write one more chapter to wrap this up. Those of you who've read any of my other stories probably know I'm a sucker for a good epilogue. But it might be a little while before I get around to it. Please let me know what you think. Remember, reviews = love_


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